


If Space is a Vacuum, Who Changes the Bag?

by Sena



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Family Drama, First Kiss, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-12
Updated: 2010-03-12
Packaged: 2017-10-07 22:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sena/pseuds/Sena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody else thinks the bumper sticker is hilarious. Brendon, not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Space is a Vacuum, Who Changes the Bag?

"It's not funny!" Brendon snaps. Ryan's laughing so hard he can't sit up straight and Jon's got actual tears running down his face.

"It's a little funny," Spencer says, because it is. Spencer can believe Brendon's mom was so naïve that she actually put a _My Son Is The Lead Singer of Panic at the Disco_ bumper sticker on her minivan.

"It's not fucking funny, all right?"

"Dude," says Jon, laughing. "Did she put her address on it, too? Social security number?"

"She got fucking _harassed_ in her driveway!"

"Hey, hey." Spencer reaches out to touch Brendon's arm. Brendon's not seeing the humor in the situation at all. "Look. She just learned the hard way, the way we all did. It sucks, but come on. Didn't you know some crazy girls would end up stalking her because of it?"

Brendon slaps at Spencer's hand and growls, "This isn't her fucking fault and it's not fucking funny," before he storms out of the back lounge.

"It's kind of funny," Spencer says softly to Ryan and Jon. Ryan's still laughing and he doubles over, unable to catch his breath.

Zack comes into the lounge a minute later. "What did you do now?" he asks.

Spencer tugs on his earlobe. "So, um, you know those bumper stickers that parents put on their cars about how proud they are of their kids? Like my kid's an honor student or proud parent of a band kid or whatever?"

Zack nods once.

"Brendon's mom got a whole bunch of them made up. She gave one to my mom last week. They're like, _Proud Parent of the Drummer of Panic at the Disco_ or whatever. My mom thought it was funny."

Zack closes his eyes. "She actually put it on her car?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck," says Zack. "Is she okay?"

"I think so. She did get harassed by scene kids, but I think she's okay."

"Why?" Zack asks. "Why would she put that on her car?" He rubs his forehead the way he does when he's stressed out, then starts to laugh. "Oh, God. She didn't have any idea, did she?"

"None!" Ryan cries.

"I'll go talk to him," Jon says.

Zack shakes his head. "Not right now." And Spencer agrees. When Brendon gets mad, really mad, it takes him a long time to cool down enough to talk.

"I'm gonna make a bumper sticker for Cassie," Ryan says. "It'll say, _My Vagina Frequently Houses the Penis of the Bassist for Panic at the Disco_."

Jon frowns. "I wouldn't say frequently."

Ryan's eyes light up. "Really?"

"Not while I've been on tour, anyway."

Ryan deflates a little bit and sinks back on the couch. "Oh."

"But we'll make one for you. It'll say _I Fucked the Guitarist for Panic at the Disco_ and we can give it out indiscriminately because no matter who we give it to, it'll probably be true."

Ryan fakes outrage and launches himself at Jon, who's laughing again, and Spencer gets up and slips past Zack into the hallway. He makes his way into the tiny front lounge where Brendon's just staring out the window.

Spencer reaches out and touches Brendon's shoulder gently, waits to see if he pulls away. He doesn't, so Spencer says, "She's really proud of you."

Brendon nods. "Are they still laughing at me?"

"No. And they were never laughing at _you_ in the first place."

Brendon turns a little bit when they hear Jon shout, "This is for my lady's honor!" and Zack grumbling for the both of them to cut it out.

"Jon called Ryan a manwhore," Spencer explains.

"He is a manwhore."

Spencer shrugs. He doesn't know how to explain to Brendon why Ryan needs to sleep around, how desperately he craves affection any way he can get it. It's just like he doesn't know how to explain to Ryan why Brendon's so angry, what his anger is really about.

"She really is proud of you and it's shitty that she can't shout it to the world," Spencer says.

A little bit of the tension goes out of Brendon's shoulders.

"It sucks that she has to be careful, but even if she doesn't have a sticker on her car, she's still proud of you."

"She never had one for me," Brendon says softly. "She had one for everybody else. Everybody else made the honor roll. Everybody else got awards and commendations and I just..." He shrugs. "Disappointed her."

"No."

"You know I did. You saw the way she couldn't stop crying the day I moved out."

"She was scared and shaken that you were actually going, but she's always been proud of you. She's always loved you."

Brendon shrugs. He plays off the time without his family as if it was nothing, as if it never mattered, but Spencer knows how much it stung him, how much it shook him to actually have his entire family turn their backs.

Spencer sighs heavily. "Fine," he says. "You win."

Brendon turns to look at him, raises an eyebrow in question.

"I'll have my mom put the sticker on her car, too. Then she and your mom can bond over being stalked by the batshit insane."

Brendon smiles just a little bit, but it's something.

"Okay, so I won't have her put the sticker on her car. But I did mean it. I do. She's really proud of you. It, like, radiates off her. Your entire family, they're so in love with you and with your talent, your gifts, I can feel the way they light up when you're around them."

"Really?" Brendon asks.

Spencer nods. "Yeah."

Brendon gives him a real smile, then, albeit a shaky one. He leans forward and presses his mouth to Spencer's. "Thank you."

Spencer freezes. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't get a chance to say anything because Brendon darts off towards the continuing scuffle in the back lounge, shouting, "I, too, fight for the honor of Lady Cassie! Prepare to die!"


End file.
